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LETS TALK ABOUT ACCOUNTABILITY

One of the hardest things we can do is take accountability for how we act, even as adults!


But when we take accountability for the unhealthy ways we manage some emotions only then can we start to replace these and practice alternative healthy ways to manage emotions instead ☺️


I know it can be hard to do but it is important for us to understand how our behaviours can effect ourselves and others.


The goal is to be able to recognise and communicate what we are feeling, regulate that emotion and then use healthy coping techniques to manage that emotion. 


After reading ‘It’s ok’ you can invite a child to use the mind maps to write down any negative ways they currently react to that emotion.


Then let a child brainstorm ways they would like to Replace those with healthy ways to regulate that emotion on the self regulation poster or you can use the back of the book.


This gives a child accountability for how they act and a chance to themselves rectify their own behaviour in their own healthy way.

Remember when a child does this and chooses a healthy way to manage as apposed to lashing out or shouting etc please, please encourage and reward this behaviour! 


They are making a conscious decision to positively change their coping mechanisms for the better.

 It will take practice, time and patience but once developed and from such an early age will give them amazing, healthy coping skills that will last a lifetime. 

I have gave some extreme examples of unhealthy reactions to emotions and self regulation ideas to replace these, just to give an idea of how these can be used.

Remember join in! Be open and honest with your children and let them know we are all human (we don’t always handle things well either) and just because we may react to some emotions in negative ways doesn’t mean we are ‘bad’ we just need to recognise these unhealthy behaviours and alter them.

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SAFE PAGE 

Let's talk safeguarding.
What is safe guarding?
The NSPCC defines safeguarding as: “The action that is taken to promote the welfare of children and protect them from harm". 
The SAFE page is a great and comforting way to find out when, who and what makes your child feel safe 😊
But you can also use the opportunity to find out when, who and what doesn't make your child feel safe!
You could use the prompting questions and your child's answers to offer advice, an action plan and put in place safeguarding to protect your child from having to feel unsafe. Give them plenty of ways to communicate with you when they are feeling unsafe. 
Me and my children have a safe word! 🍝
My children ask me if I can make SPAGHETTI for tea tomorrow if they are feeling uncomfortable in a situation.I then know my child feels unsafe or uncomfortable and I need to help them out of a situation/company and or environment. 
Not all children feel comfortable or are able to talk about some experiences and if this is the case try to make the activity fun and ask them to draw a time they felt safe and a time they felt unsafe to help encourage a conversation. 
Try to be patient and understanding. I normally find it's best to let a child lead and you guide the conversation.
 

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MY THOUGHTS

It's ok not to be ok' ... but
.... we need to learn how to communicate how we are feeling
.... we need to learn healthy ways to deal with these emotions
..... We need to explore resources to help us manage
...... We need to be able identify when our mental health is declining or we are overwhelmed with emotionsand have healthy ways to help ourselves 
Knowing 'its ok not to be is ok' is just the beginning.
Let's teach children from a young age that yes'It's ok not to be ok' but then let's teach them what to do about it and watch them grow up having a better understanding on how to cope, source help and have better control of their mental health/ emotions no matter what life throws at them.
'It's Ok' book let's children know it's ok to have big feelings but also gives the opportunity for children to discover how to manage these emotions and learn to seek help and communicate their needs. 💜

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ANGRY PAGE

Who cries when they are ANGRY? 
I know I do! 🙋‍♀️
Yet people don't often associate crying with anger and often mistake how a person is feeling because of this.
Get to know how a child physically displays emotion so you can have a better understanding of when and what they may be feeling.
You can brainstorm the anger page to find their unique displays of emotion by simply asking a child questions like:
What happens when you are angry?How does it make you feel?
And then try finishing with questions like:
What should we try not do when we are angry?What can we do when we are angry?What can we do to help ourselves feel calm when angry?
And most importantly reminding children it is perfectly NATURAL and OK to feel angry, we just need to find coping techniques to help us deal with that emotion in a healthy way 😊

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